 |
|
Sex Before Marriage?
Phillip
First off, I grew up in a Presbyterian home where I went to church every Sunday growing up. I even sang in the choir for two services every week. I bring this up, because after I left home for service in the Marine Corps if you had asked me if I was a Christian I would have said yes. However, I never prayed, and I never read the bible, outside of church services. And as the old cliche goes - actions speak louder than words.
After joining the Marine Corps I met up with some rather unscrupulous characters who liked to dwell in the alcoholic and drug addicted lifestyle. Sure, this stuff was not condoned in the USMC, but for these guys it was their "out" from the stressful lifestyle of the Corps. I personally didn't understand it, but to keep them out of trouble I would often times be the designated driver, so that my roommate could get drunk and not drive home that way.
After four years in the Marine Corps I came home. My biggest complaint about the Marine Corps is that I was very lonely. Lots of guys, but very few girls to become involved with. I was craving female companionship, and the USMC didn't allow for much of that. I came back home to live with Mom & Dad while I signed up for college at the local Community College. After a year I finished my Associates degree. I worked odd jobs during my college days, as my parents may have let me live at home for free, but I needed to be able to make a car payment and insurance payments, and to put gas in that car. These things required money. So I always had a job of some sort from the day I was 15 actually.
After getting my associates degree I then enrolled in the local 4 year university where I continued my studies. About that time my father decided to open up a health food store. He made me his manager and I worked with him in the store while still attending school towards my goal of a bachelors degree.
In my free time I would go out with friends here and there and pursue the limited female encounters that I had. I'd ask some girls out, but most would decline. I am not the most debonair guy on the street, let's just say that. However, while we had our health food store in the mall I met my future ex-wife, who just so happened to be working at a store across the way from our store in the mall. We dated and things got real hot and heavy right from the start. A vast majority of our time together was spent deep in the throngs of passion. I won't get too descriptive, but let's just say that we left nothing to the imagination.
At this point I will say that I was attending church on a weekly basis for the most part, but I still wasn't praying on my own, or reading scripture at all. I was biblically ignorant. So, when someone told me I was "living in sin" I did not even know what they were talking about. And actually, now that I recall, I was working as a youth counselor at the church, the same one I grew up in. Yeah right, here's a fine example of a good Christian .
Before this becomes a novel, unbeknownst to us at the time, my future ex-wife became pregnant within a month of us knowing each other. For several months she had a major "stomach ache". She was on the pill and had a tipped uterus. Why should we be worrying about her having a baby, right? Wrong. She was definitely pregnant. So, after we discovered this I didn't even hesitate in asking her to marry me. Here's the timeline. I met her in September, she got pregnant in October. We were engaged when she discovered she was pregnant in January, were married in May and had a daughter in July. So, in less than a year I have gone from being totally single, living at home and lonely, to having a wife, an apartment, a daughter, and all of the things that come with a new family.
What I later discovered was that the sex was the only thing me and my ex-wife had in common. She doesn't know the Lord, and could care less. She can hardly read, and can't hold down a job. She lies like you and I breathe, and her next scam is only five minutes away. She's as slick as a snake, and if you believe a word she says you are more foolish then I am.
The short version is that our marriage ended after a year and change due to the fact that she was "not happy" with me and ended up finding her happiness with another guy. The divorce was mutual and I ended up caring for our daughter full time, as my ex-wife had more important things to worry about then her own daughter. Oh well, her loss.
The moral of that story is - what you enjoy for 15 minutes outside of marriage can cost you for a lifetime. Premarital sex can hurt more then just yourself. You can possibly affect your partner, your parents, your siblings, your future child, your employer, your community, etc. Being selfish with your sex life does affect everyone else. The consequences are much more severe then drug use or other alternative lifestyle choices. I would advise anyone who is "fooling around" to take their actions very seriously. It can and will eventually catch up to you.
God has a reason for wanting us to confine sex to the marriage bed. Unfortunately, you may learn this the hard way, like I did.
The good news out of all of this is that after my divorce I sought out the Lord. I met my present wife in church, and we have been happily marrried for 7 years and have a 4 year-old son to show for it. I reconciled all of my past sins to God, and thankfully through the cross I have been forgiven.
My prayer is that someone reads this and learns from my mistakes. I would not wish my past experiences on anyone. It will affect you emotionally, physically, financially, and professionally.
Gods richest blessings to all who may read this, and follow the advice given. Besides, it's all there in scripture for you to listen to anyway. You just have to make the choice to follow it.
|
|
|
|
|
